The celebrity chef, 41, has revealed his and wife Jools' baby River won't be getting any presents for his first festive period because he is too young and his only concern at the moment is getting fed.
When asked what River is getting for Christmas, Jamie replied: "Nothing. He's only interested in one thing. Boobs.
"And for that we can both remain equal in our desire."
While Jamie - who also has kids Poppy, 14, Daisy, 13, Petal, seven, and six-year-old Buddy - and Jools are delighted to have a fifth child, the restaurateur admits it has been much tougher to get River to settle at night compared to their other children.
He added: "It's been hard. But he's really good now, so we're so relieved. Jools has been a ninja in that all the other kids have been down pat in about six weeks, whereas this one has taken about four months to settle and we were getting about two hours' sleep, which was ridiculous.
"I had quite a lot of important stuff going on at the same time which required a lot of focus."
But, fortunately, the pair have managed to get River into a routine and are going to celebrate by having a "sane Christmas".
He said: "I put a lot of hours in this year, River's come along and now in a routine, which is important when they're that young, and I thought, 'Let's change it up,' and have a slightly more sane Christmas, which I've never had."